Mitch

Hello.

Bill

Hello

Mitch

I'm Mitch, I live right there, so you our new neighbors?

Bill

I guess that would be us.

Mitch

Well welcome to the neighborhood. (Looking around) Sure is a nice one

(Susan looks at Bill, he whispers something in her ear, Mitch sees this. )

Bill

Oh, meet Susan, my wife. ... (without her seeing) She's deaf.

Mitch

Oh really, (Yelling) Nice to meet you.

Bill

She's deaf, not hard of hearing. Just as long as your looking at her she can read your lips.

Mitch

(Exaggerates lip movement) It's very nice to meet you Susan. (Shakes her hand)

So, You guys moving into the house by yourselves?

Bill

Oh no, we got a three year old sleeping inside, and another on the way (Pats Susan's stomach)

Mitch

We have a three year old too, she's inside watching T.V. Got an eight year old boy also.

Bill

You got a three year old girl? We better watch out in about 15 years. My kid's gonna be a real heart breaker.

Mitch

Maybe we'll have to be careful, because my little girl is going to be a cute thing... My wife's at work right now, but I'm sure she'd love to meet you. Hey, we got a block party coming up in two weeks. All the neighbors come over, we take over the street and have a party. Nothing fancy, just barbecues and such. Hope we can see you there.

Bill

A Block party? Very nineteen fiftyish, isn't it?

Mitch

Hey, it's a good time.

Bill

I'm sure it is, we'll be there.

Mitch

Well, I'll be seeing you around

Bill

Bye

Mitch

(Looks at Susan, and once again exaggerates lip movement)

Bye Susan

(Susan waves)

(Lights down, Next scene happens about 3 years later. )

Scene 2

(Scene is a block party. Tarps have been set up outside the Gruff's house, barbecues are going, the kids are running around. Place enough people to fill the stage and make it look party like. Dick should be there. Both families should be there in their entirety, the adults sit around a table, the small children might be running around playing, or doing other kid-stuff. The lights come up with laughter)

Bill

Can you believe this is the third block party we've had?

Mitch

Now, where has the time gone? It feels like you guys moved in just last week... Maybe the third you've had, it's our fifth.

Bill

So sorry Mr. Seniority. Wouldn't want to offend the 5 year master.

Christine

(To Sue) No honey, put that down' it's dirty. (To Others) They never cease to amaze me. Always into something.

Susan

I know, just last week...

Bill

(Interrupts) Oh honey, the five year-ers don't want to hear about that.

(Moment of awkward silence)

Hey Mitch, the houses sure do look good. Never thought I'd ever finish that deck, thanks for the help.

Mitch

I know, it seems like I've been working on the new addition for years. I'd probably still be working on it if it weren't for all those beer and building sessions we had.

Christine

Oh, what's this, Mutt and Jeff gloating over their accomplishments? And we're just lucky it's still standing, I think there was more beer than building during most of those.

Bill

Will you stop it with the Mutt and Jeff? Where does that come from?

Christine

I'm not sure, but it sure does describe you two, Mutt and Jeff... What image do you see in your mind when you hear Mutt and Jeff?

Mitch

Well I know one thing for sure, I'm Jeff and your Mutt. Was it a comic way back when? Maybe part of a commercial?

Bill

Wait just one second. Why am I Mutt? I'm the good looking one, I'm Jeff.

(Just now a wind blows through, and the tarp falls onto the people talking)

Christine

So, was this supposed to happen, or did Mutt and Jeff strike again?

(Bill & Mitch are working to get the tarp back up, Christine taps Susan on the shoulder after they climb out from under the tarp)

So, was this supposed to happen, or did Mutt and Jeff strike again?

Susan

Mutt and Jeff

(The two girls laugh as the men try to fix the tarp)

(Lights down)

Scene 3

(A Brisk autumn day)

(Bobby walks across the stage from the Gruff house to the Rieduseli house. He knocks on the door. Mitch answers)

Mitch

Hey Bobby, what's shaking?

Bobby

(Shrugs shoulders and giggles a bit) Shaking?

Mitch

Never mind, what's up?

Bobby

Is Suzzy here?

Mitch

I think she just might be, hold on a second. (Yelling into house)  Suzzy! (She comes running) Remember honey, we have to eat soon, you can go play after. (Mitch walks offstage)

Sue

I can't play I got to eat now. (She slams the door on Bobby and runs to the window laughing. )

(Bobby turns around and slowly walks back to his house kicking a rock on the way)

Mitch

Suzzy, come eat, the food's getting cold. The faster you eat, the faster you can go out and play with Bobby.

Scene 4

(The Gruff's living room in the morning. The T.V. is on, and Bill is watching it. Susan is reading)

Bill

(Taps Susan) I can't believe he hasn't said anything yet.

Susan

Who? Said anything about what?

Bill

You know, our "good" neighbor, slamming the door on Bobby.

Susan

Are you sure you saw him slam the door? Maybe he didn't really slam it, maybe it was the wind.

Bill

The wind? Yes, that's it! A small micro burst centered around their door slammed it shut, yet managed not to touch a single leaf on any tree around. We should call the weather channel, they're always doing stories on bizarre weather. What's the number? Maybe it was a UFO, those damned UFO's are always doing strange things,

Susan

Don't tease.

Bill

(Ignores her) Crop circles, cow mutilations, anal probes, and now this.... Slamming doors.

Susan

STOP IT!

Bill

(Looks away from her) Doesn't think I know what I saw. Wind. Ha.

Susan

Bill?

Bill

All right, but I know what he did. I saw it.

Susan

It's been a week and a half, maybe he forgot.

Bill

He didn't forget about the $10 I owed him from two months ago, he didn't forget about the... Well he doesn't forget about stuff. He just doesn't want to admit to it.

Susan

Everyone forgets about stuff, why don't you go get the paper.

Bill

Yeah sure. I'll go play, "Where did the paper get thrown today" (Opens the door, steps outside.) Where is it? That paper boy. In my day, we would have been fired for throwing the paper like that.

(Sees the paper, walks towards it, picks it up, and walks back towards his house. At this time Mitch steps out of his house)

Mitch

Hey Bill how ya doin?

Bill

(Looks over at Mitch, turns around goes inside and slams the door)

Mitch

Bill? Hmm.....

(Goes inside his house)

(Lights Down)

Scene 4

(The Rieduseli's Dinning Room. Mitch and Christine sit around the table, Sipping coffee and reading the paper. The room has a door to the outside to the left, and to the right is another room in the house. The room should be fairly nice, upper-middle class style. Perhaps a fireplace and mantle. Pictures of the kids on the walls, a phone on a small table or hanging from a wall.)

Mitch

I fixed that squeak in your car.

Christine

What squeak?

Mitch

The loud constant screech every time you pressed the brakes.

Christine

There wasn't any loud screech.

Mitch

Of course there was, I wouldn't have fixed it if it wasn't there.

Christine

You pull another Mutt? Or maybe a Jeff? There was no squeak.

Mitch

There was a squeak, just like a woman not to notice. I bet you don't even notice that one of the speakers blew out?

Christine

I did too.

Mitch

Ha, gotchya, the speakers are fine, just like a woman not to notice these things.

Christine

Hey, guess what I found out yesterday?

Mitch

Oh, changing the subject now?

Christine

No, well yes, but never mind, guess what.

Mitch

What?

Christine

Well, it seems that our neighbor friend is mad at you

Mitch

No kidding, I hadn't noticed

Christine

Well, I was talking with Sue at the bus stop yesterday. She said that you slammed the door on Bobby.

Mitch

What? When was this?

Christine

A few weeks ago, I guess he's been stewing all this time. Why don't you go over there and straighten things out.

Mitch

Sure, I'll go today. A few weeks ago? He was talking to me last week.

Christine

I know, but that's what Sue said it was about. You know he blows things all out of proportion. Remember Mike? The guy that was renting the basement apartment over there? One day Bill saw Mike and his wife talking. He got jealous over that, thought that Mike was making a pass at his wife or something. From then, until Mike moved out, Bill came home every day on his lunch to make sure Mike wasn't with his wife. He wouldn't stop in, just drive by and leave. He always blows things out of proportion.

Mitch

Yeah, I guess you're right, but a few weeks? That's a little nutty if you ask me, borderline crazy.

(Lights go down, back up on same setting, Christine is now wearing "normal" day time clothes. The door opens, and Mitch comes in)

Christine

So, how did it go?

Mitch

He wouldn't even come to the door.

(Tires squealing, Mitch looks out the window)

There he goes. And he backed up on my lawn, the bastard.

Christine

I wonder what his problem is.

Mitch

I don't know. Just another disgruntled postal worker I guess. (Chuckles) No big deal though, he'll get over it soon enough.

Scene 5

(Sheryl, Christine, and Mitch sit around the table in the Rieduseli's dinning room talking)

Sheryl

I got good news.

Christine

Yes?

Sheryl

Well, last week Harry's supervisor left for another job. Harry put in for the position, and got it! He's going to ... be ... Say, why is there a police car out there? (Looking out window)

Mitch

I don't know, but he's coming over here.

(There is a knock at the door, Mitch gets up and answers the door. A police officer is standing there, a young guy)

Can I help you officer?

Cop

Well yes. We got a call complaining about how a car was parked on your street. Is that your car? (Points)

Sheryl

That's my car officer.

Cop

Well your neighbor across the street called and asked us to do something about it. He said he's asked you not to park there in the past, it hinders his ability to get in and out of his driveway. Would you mind moving it?

Sheryl

Not at all.

(Digs through her purse, gets her keys, and walks out the door)

Cop

Thank you for your cooperation. (Turns around and leaves)

Mitch

He never said anything about parking there before, did he?

Christine

Nope. Never.

Mitch

What a nut. It's probably for the best that we aren't talking anymore.

Christine

Maybe

(There is another knock at the door, Mitch answers it, the cop is there again.

Mitch

Can I help you?

Cop

Yes, could I use your phone? I ah... locked my keys in my car, and my radio was in there.

Mitch

Sure, come in.

(Christine gets a phone for the cop. )

Cop

(Dials) Hello, hey Dave, I need a favor. Never mind why I'm not using the radio, I need someone to bring the spare set of keys for my car down here. ......... Yeah, the spare set of keys...... I'm on Hampton St. It's a short road, my lights are on, shouldn't be to hard to find.... Yeah I know.... I know.... No don't tell Lawrence.... no no.. Arghhh... Just get down here.

(Hangs up phone)

Isn't this somehow funny.

Mitch

Bet you're going to get some shit from the other cops when you get back.

Cop

You don't know the half of it.

Mitch

I got a question for you, was that car illegally parked?

Cop

No, not at all. If you guys had said you wouldn't move it, I wouldn't have pressed it. There was nothing I could do about but ask nicely.

Mitch

Makes you wonder why he couldn't have asked.

Cop

You mean he didn't?

Mitch

Nope. Never said a word about it. He's been a real ass lately. Just last week he threw our trash across the street. Since we live on a dead end street the trash man asked us to put out trash on the other side of the street, because they can't turn around the truck. We've been putting it there since before they moved in, but last week he decided he didn't like it. He picked up the two bags of trash and hurled them across the street at us.

Cop

Really.

Mitch

Yes, what could we do about this?

Cop

You could file an harassment suit.

Mitch

Really, what would we have to do to file an harassment suit?

Cop

Well, keep everything he does documented. Write down when he does it and what he does. If he ever does anything really major, bring it all down to the station. Anyone there will be able to help you. But you really should try to work it out. When things go to court, they usually get messy...

(Sirens are heard outside)

Oh no.

Mitch

(Cracks up laughing) Looks like a parade.

Cop

Thanks for the phone, I have to go.

Mitch

Good luck. (Cop leaves) Three cruisers, three cruisers, oh man is he going to get it bad latter.

Christine

I bet that's the last time he locks his keys in the car.

(Lights down)

Scene 6

(The end of the street. Christine and Susan are there talking. Amy is there doing "kid" stuff. They are waiting for the school bus to bring Bobby and Sue)

Christine

So, what is Bill's problem lately?

Susan

What do you mean Bill's problem? What's Mitch's problem, slamming the door on Bobby.

Christine

I talked to him about it, he doesn't remember doing it. He would never do anything like that on purpose.

Susan

Well, Bill says he saw it. Couldn't Mitch just apologize?

Christine

Just apologize? Well, first of all, it's not really his place to apologize, and second he did. Bill wouldn't even come out of your house.

Susan

He wouldn't?

Christine

Nope. Let's get them together, we'll all just talk it out.

Susan

O.K. I'll talk to Bill tonight

Christine

I'll talk with Mitch.

(Lights down. Lights up, it's the next day. Same setting, same characters)

Christine

So, how did it go last night?

Susan

How did what go?

Christine

You know, our talk yesterday, me, you, Bill, Mitch, all sitting down and talking things out?

Susan

Oh, that. Well I talked with Bill, we decided that it would be for the best not to.

Christine

What!?! We? Was it we, or him?

Susan

It was we. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Christine

Well I do want to talk about it. You can't let him control you like this.

(Susan turns away)

Susan,

(She takes a step in front of Susan, Susan turns more.)

Arrgghh. Fine.

(Lights Down)

Scene 7

(Rieduseli's Dinning Room. Christine and Mitch are sitting eating lunch. Bill is blowing his leaves off his lawn with a leaf blower)

Mitch

The nut's blowing off his lawn.

Christine

Did you remember to get the stuff for the Speldman's party tonight?

Mitch

No, I'll get it sometime today. Look at that. He's blowing his damn leaves right onto the street. Those are just going to sit there and decay until the street sweepers come. You know they won't be here for at least a week. And they're going to smell. You know what decaying leaves smell like? Well it ain't pretty.

Christine

Don't let him get to you. And I noticed where you parked.

Mitch

I've been parking there for 7 years, there is no way that nut is going to take my spot away after that.

Christine

You don't park there, you're about 5 feet over.

Mitch

Well, I'm a little off today, besides I'm sure he ain't happy about it. Look at that, those leaves are going to decay on the street. We'll have to drive over mounds of leaves for months.

Christine

A little off, five feet is a bit more than a little, and don't let him get to you.

Mitch

He's not getting to me, I'm just commenting about the leaves in the street. When those leaves are sitting there decaying they might get to me. Have you ever smelled decaying leaves? (Pause) Hey honey, should I not worry about it, even if he's blowing those leaves right across the street into our yard, into your flowers?

(Bill is outside doing just this)

Christine

He is not. (Turns around to look) My Tulips! He's blowing the leaves into my tulips! I just raked the bed out, oh I'm going to get him...

Mitch

Don't let him get you

Christine

But those are my tulips!

(She runs out of the house and starts screaming at Bill)

What are you doing! Those are my tulips! Stop it, your getting those leaves into my tulips!

(She picks up a rake and starts running towards him)

Stop it!

(He sees her and runs back to his house dropping the leaf blower just outside)

My tulips

(She walks back to her house)

Mitch

So honey, you know, you shouldn't let him get to you.

Christine

He didn't get to me

Mitch

He didn't?

(Lights down in the Rieduseli house, and up in the Gruff's house. Bill and Susan are there)

Bill

She's a nut! Did you see her chasing me with the rake? Did you? I had to run for my dear life.

Susan

What did you do?

Bill

Nothing, I was just getting rid of the leaves on the lawn. And did you see where he parked? It's even more in my way now. He did it on purpose. I'd call the police again if it wasn't such a joke to them last time. I don't need another parade.

Susan

Don't let them get to you.

Bill

It's too late for that. How could I not let him get to me, he's parking there on purpose. Just to get a rise out of me. What kind of person would do that? It's inconsiderate, no, it's rude. It's just plain rude. Well, if he wants to get a rise out of me, just maybe he'll get it

Susan

Now Bill, don't do anything crazy. I don't want you to pick a fight or anything with him.

Bill

Don't worry about that. I won't.

(Lights down)

Scene 8

(Rieduseli's dinning room. Mitch is in his robe, opens the door to get the morning paper. Bill is waiting outside with his paper in his hands.)

Bill

(Yelling from outside his house)  HEY MITCH! Yeah you, you pussy, I'm gonna get you... I'm gonna get you good!

(Mitch ignores him, and comes back in with his paper)

(Christine walks into the room and sits at the table with a plate of breakfast and a mug of coffee)

Christine

What was that for?

Mitch

He's a nut. That's the only possible reason, he's just a nut.

Christine

You did very good, didn't yell back or anything. (Talking down to him) I'm so proud of you (Normal)It's been so quiet this week, that's a shame.

Mitch

Yeah.... I think it's time to file the harrassment suit. I'm going to go down to the courthouse today to file it.

Christine

Good, maybe that will end this.

Mitch

Yup, I hope so.

(Lights down on Rieduseli's, up on the Gruffs)

Bill

Did you see that?

Susan

See what?

Bill

Did you see the things he yelled at me?

Susan

No, I wasn't looking. What did he say?

Bill

I wouldn't want to repeat the language he used, but lets just say he tried to pick a fight with me. Susan, I'm scared what he might do.

Susan

Hush, he's harmless.

Bill

No, no he's not. You don't hear the things he says to me, to us. He always does it when you're not looking. I usually just ignore him, but I'm afraid that something might happen someday. We have to do something, we have to do something.

Susan

Do what, what are we going to do?

Bill

I don't know, I'll work on it. We just need to scare him a bit, just to keep him in place.

Scene 9

(Outside at the end of the street. Mitch, Susan, and Amy are standing there waiting for the school bus to bring back Sue and Bobby from school. Amy is stooped down writing in the sand)

Susan

What are you doing precious?

Amy

Drawing a picture for you mommy.

(Susan starts walking backwards towards Mitch)

Mitch

Susan.... Susan....

(She keeps backing up towards him. Mitch puts out his hand and touches her arm. She jumps. And looks at him. A moment of silence. The school bus pulls up and Sue and bobby run onto stage. Susan grabs her kids and runs back home. Mitch stares at her, scratches his head.)

(To Suzzy) How was your day honey?

Sue

Fine.

Mitch

Well, what did you do? (As they start walking home)

Sue

Well, Mrs. Baxter was mean, she made me go sit in the corner for nothing.

Mitch

For nothing?

Sue

I was talking a little, but it wasn't my fault Amy was talking to me, I couldn't just ignore her.

(Lights Down)

Scene 10

(The Rieduseli's dinning room. No one is there. A knock on the door is heard, Mitch comes onto stage and answers the door. The cop is there.)

Mitch

Hey, how ya doing? Lock your keys in a car again?

Cop

No, not since the last time, I got myself one of these.

(He has a key chain on his belt, one of the ones with the retractable string/chain. He pulls it out and lets it snap back into place)

Mitch

So, what's wrong today? I park in the wrong spot again? Maybe my house is the wrong color?

Cop

Not quite Mr. Rieduseli. I'm afraid I have a more grievous accusation than that. I'm here to deliver this, it's a subpena for a hearing. Your neighbors are accusing you of assault and battery.

Mitch

WHAT? When was this, I never went near him

Cop

Not him, Mrs. Gruff is the plaintiff here.

Mitch

Susan? I never hurt her, never even wanted to. But... but... when did this happen?

Cop

Yesterday at the bus stop. She says you snuck up on her, grabbed her arm, and shook her hard. The official accusation is here in this.

Mitch

Accusation, I have to go to court or something? Is that all it takes? A word from the nut's wife and I'm a criminal?

Cop

No, no no, far from it. This subpena is just for a hearing. This hearing is to determine if there is enough evidence for this to go to court. Most of these hearings don't go any further, the prosecution really needs a good deal of evidence.

Mitch

Do I need a lawyer? When is it?

Cop

All of that information is contained in this packet. It's usually mailed out, but I felt bad for you guys, I've seen the crazy things they have done in the past. So I brought it over in person. Also, I wanted to hear your own reaction to this, just for my personal curiosity.

Mitch

Thank you.

Cop

One more thing, just sign here, these things are usually sent out registered mail and we need a record that you received it. (Holds out a clipboard)

Mitch

Oh, sure. (Signs the cop's clipboard) Thanks again.

Cop

No problem, have a nice day

Mitch

A nice day? How's that going to happen? I just got accused of assault and battery.

Cop

You got me there..... Bye.

Mitch

Bye. (Closes door)

(Christine walks into the room)

Christine

Who was that?

Mitch

A cop, actually the cop.

Christine

Why was he here this time?

Mitch

To bring this.

(Holds the papers the cop gave him, Christine takes them)

Christine

What are these? (Starts reading them)

Mitch

Keep reading, tell me when you get to the part where I'm a suspect in an assault and battery.

Christine

WHAT! Assault and battery? Against who?

Mitch

Susan.

Christine

When?

Mitch

Two days ago. At the bus stop.

Christine

At the bus stop?

Mitch

Yeah, at the bus stop. I remember it. We were standing there. Her back was to me and she started backing up towards me. I took a step back, but she kept coming. Eventually I had to put my hand out to stop her.

Christine

You're kidding, right?

(He shakes his head no)

That's not assault, or battery. What's the difference? Or is it one thing, Assault and Battery? I think it's two separate things because my cousin Tippa got thrown in jail on assault. Just assault.

Mitch

It's not important, it all goes together... and great way to make me feel better, your cousin being thrown into jail for half of what I'm accused of.

Christine

Don't worry, you can't get convicted for something you didn't do. They need evidence.

Mitch

I know. But you know they are going to lie at the hearing. Maybe they'll make up evidence.

Christine

Why would they do that?

Mitch

Think about it. I filed my harassment lawsuit, the day after she does this, and the other morning Bill yells, "I'm gonna get you".

Christine

It's a set up. It's ..so.. a set up.

Mitch

Yeah I know. I'm going to call Dick, see what he thinks, I'm sure he's run across things like this before.

(Dials Phone)

Hey dick, how are you doing? I need some help, you got a minute? Great. My neighbor just filed an assault and battery suit against me. ...... No I didn't do it, ..... here's what happened.....

(Lights down)

Scene 11

(Christine, Susan, and Amy are at the bus stop. Everyone is being very quiet for a while)

Christine

Why are you doing this?

Susan

What?

Christine

Why are you lying like this?

Susan

I'm not.

Christine

Are you going to lie in front of the court? Are you going to make your children lie?

Susan

Court?

Christine

Yeah court, what did you think this was all about?

Susan

You mean it's going to court?

Christine

Yup, a date's been set and everything, where have you been?

Susan

Oh my god... court... I never wanted to go to court.... We only wanted to scare him. Court? No one ever said anything about court.

Christine

SCARE HIM! You've done that all right. Wouldn't you be scared if someone accused you of a crime you didn't commit?

Susan

It's going to court?

Christine

Yup, and you're going to testify. A date's been set and everything. How could you not know it was going to court? Didn't your loving husband at least tell you that you were going to court?

Susan

I don't know... Bill was handling all of this. He didn't tell me. Court?

Christine

You know what they do to people who lie in court? Well I guess now-a-days it depends if your president or not. If you are, you get a slap on the hand, if not, they throw you in jail. Last time I checked, you're not the president.

Susan

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Christine

So you're not going to court?

Susan

No, of course not

(Bus pulls up. Bobby and Amy get off, the mothers greet their children and everyone goes home)

Scene 12

(The Rieduseli's dinning room, Mitch is there wearing a suit)

Mitch

Come on honey, I can't be late for this.

Christine

(Walks in, putting in her earring)

Calm down, we have three hours to get there still, it only takes twenty minutes to drive there, that gives us an extra two hours and forty minutes.

Mitch

I know, but I want to get there early.

Christine

Two hours and forty minutes early? That's pushing it a little, isn't it? You can either sit around in the crowded courtroom and be nervous, or you can sit around here in the comfort of your own home and be nervous. Personally, I'd prefer my own home, but it's up to you...... Look at you, you're a mess. Listen, don't worry about it. What did Dick say the other day when you called him?

Mitch

That they probably wouldn't even show up, and even if they did the case would never pass to court.

Christine

What did the lawyer say when you called?

Mitch

The same thing

Christine

Then why are you killing yourself over this? Why are you worrying so much? Susan herself doesn't want to go to court, why would she show up?

Mitch

But he's a nut, who knows what he's filled her head with? She didn't even know she was going to court. Who knows what else he convinced her of? She's deaf she only knows what she sees, and what he tells her. Who knows what he's told her?

Christine

Don't worry, they won't show up, we'll put this mess behind us, and we'll go out and have a nice dinner.

Mitch

I hope so.

Christine

Maybe after this you can get some sleep. You've been tossing and turning in bed ever since this thing happened.

Scene 13

(The Rieduseli's Dinning room, no one is there, The door opens and Christine walks in, Mitch walks in a few seconds later. He drops his coat on the floor, takes off his tie and sits down.)

Christine

Let me get you something to drink.

Mitch

No.

Christine

You didn't say anything on the entire way home. And now all you say is "no".

Mitch

I don't believe they showed up.

Christine

I know.

Mitch

They showed up, and she said those things. They believed her. It didn't matter what I said, it was going to court no matter what. They believed every word of it.

Christine

Don't worry too much, it was just a hearing.

Mitch

I would have believed it too if I didn't know... Don't worry too much! That's what everyone said about this, and look at how it turned out. Everyone said this would never pass.

(Knock at the door, Christine answers it. Dick is standing there in his police uniform)

Christine

Hi Dick.

Dick

Hello. They showed up, huh?

Christine

Yeah, how did you know.

Dick

The district attorney got a call last night. The caller said he was a relative to the Gruff family. He said that I was interfering with the DA's investigation.

Mitch

Relative my ass.

Dick

(Walks in, sits at the table with Mitch, Christine closes the door)

My supervisor talked to me about it today. He told me to officially stay away from the case, but he understood what was happening. Tampering with the investigation, can you believe that? A DA hasn't even been assigned yet, how could I tamper with an investigation that hasn't started yet?

Mitch

He's a nut

Dick

We talked, we talked as friends at that... Interfering with the case... Who does he think he is?

Mitch

He's a nut.

Dick

You can say that again.

Mitch

He's a nut. Hey you know of any good lawyers?

Dick

No, but I can talk with some friends of mine at the DA's office if you like, see who they recommend. How exactly did the hearing go?

Mitch

I could have skipped it and it wouldn't have made any difference. The hearing guy, I don't even think he was a judge, believed Susan testimony. He made up his mind before I even spoke. The rest of the hearing was just for show. She cried, you believe that? She actually cried. The DA's office? Aren't they kind of the enemy for me here? Do we really want legal advice from them?

Dick

Yeah, I know a couple of them, I'll find out who is good and who isn't.

Mitch

He's a nut, no, they're both nuts.

Dick

I have to get going, I'm just on my lunch.

Mitch

Hey, sorry if I caused any trouble for you.

Dick

There's no trouble. Good luck. (Gets up and heads for the door)

Christine

Bye Dick

Dick

Bye (Leaves)

Mitch

A nut.

(Lights down)

Scene 14

(The dinning room, Mitch, Christine, and the lawyer are there.)

Mitch

So, what exactly do you think our chances are?

Tom

Well, you can never be absolutely certain about any case, but I'm 99 percent sure that nothing will come of this.

Mitch

That's a relief, but that is what I heard about the hearing.

Tom

Well, you didn't hear it from me.

Mitch

So, what's the plan.

Tom

Well, from what you've told me, and what we have to go on, our defense will be two part. First, we'll show the influence that Bill has over Susan. We'll subpena him so he can't be in the courtroom. We should be able to show a classic spousal abuse scenario.

Christine

Abuse? I don't think he abuses her.

Tom

Abuse come in more forms than physical abuse. There is emotional and psychological also. What you guys have described is most definitely one of those. If we have to, we can bring in a therapist, jury's always love professional witnesses. We can also show his hate towards you.

Mitch

He's going to flip, won't even be allowed in the courtroom? I bet she'll be a little more nervous without him as well. Sounds good so far, what's the second part?

Tom

This part's the easy part. We grab a few of your neighbors, friends, co-workers, whatever. Whoever we need to get on the stand and say how much of a nice guy you are. It's called a character witness, just makes the jury believe that you couldn't do the crime.

Mitch

And that's it?

Tom

Yup. I've had three cases with more or less the same defense before. Won two of them.

Mitch

Only two?

Tom

The third guy really did it. The prosecution had photos, eye witnesses, everything. Really beat that girl up bad too. He only got a year in jail, probably only served half of it. Actually, I think that two of them did it, but the jury didn't see it that way.

Mitch

Is it hard to defend people who you think have done it?

Tom

No, not really. I defend every case the same, well almost. Some cases I take more of a personal interest in. Like yours, I've spent a bit more time on it than I really think I had to.

Mitch

Really? Thanks.

Tom

Yeah, no problem. It came at a good time to, a low work load recently. It always gets slow this time of year.

Mitch

So, we'll see you in four days?

Tom

Yup, wait for me in the lobby of the courtroom. It usually looks better if the defendant walks in with his lawyer.

Mitch

Sure.

Tom

Well, I got another meeting with a client in about an hour. I'm just going to snap some photos of your house, the end of the street, and their house, so I'll be seeing you two later.

(Gets up, puts on coat, pulls out a camera)

Mitch

Thanks for everything.

Tom

Don't thank me yet, wait till after the trial.

Mitch

Sure. Tell you what, after the trial I'll buy the first round of drinks if we win.

Tom

Then you'll be buying the drinks my friend.

Mitch

I hope so, Bye.

Scene 15

(Outside the courtroom doors. Mitch and Christine, and the lawyer are there. She is sitting on a bench, Mitch is pacing back and forth. Tom is standing, leaning against the wall)

Mitch

What's taking so long? The jury has been gone for half an hour.

Tom

Don't worry, some juries are just slow. If they do it by the book it should take at least this long. They have to elect a spokesperson, discuss the case, and take an anonymous vote. It's really quite a process.

Mitch

How do you think the trial went?

Tom

How do you think it went?

Mitch

Mediocre, I really wasn't that thrilled about it. She was pretty good. I stumbled a few times.

Tom

You worry too much. She wasn't that good. She dropped the "poor little deaf girl" act about mid way and was just another woman with a speech impediment. I didn't notice you stumbling at all.

Mitch

I noticed.

Tom

That's just because you were nervous.

Christine

I think it went well.

Mitch

What's taking them so long?

Tom

Don't worry. Look here comes the bailiff.

(The bailiff walks on stage)

Bailiff

Mr. Rieduseli, the jury is ready.

Mitch

Well, this is it.

(They open the doors to the courtroom. Christine holds Mitch's hand all four of them walk in. The doors close. Lights down, a pause, lights up. The doors open)

(The Gruff family walks out)

Bill

I can't believe it, we had him, we really had him.

Susan

So is this it, there's no more?

Bill

No, this is it.

Susan

Oh thank god. I just wanted all of this to end.

Bill

You what! You just wanted it to end! Didn't you want to see him in jail? I bet you didn't even really try. What did you say in there when I wasn't allowed in?

Susan

Jail, for what? He really didn't do anything wrong. And you know what I said. You heard it a hundred times before today.

Bill

(Slaps Susan)  Don't ever say that. He did do something wrong.

(Mitch walks out)

Mitch

Picking on people again, huh Mutt, I mean Bill.

Bill

YOU! You come here.

(He grabs Mitch's shirt collar and starts shaking.)

Mitch

POLICE! Help!

(While making choking sounds. Bill lets go of Mitch angrily and starts to walk away. The bailiff comes out and see this.)

Bailiff

Mr. Rieduseli, would you like me to arrest him?

Mitch

No, he'll be all right. He's got kids that would miss him, God only knows why. But I will be filling for assault and battery against him, you saw it right?

Bailiff

Yup, here take this. (Writes something on a piece of paper) That's my name. You can call the general number here to reach me.

Mitch

Thanks, I half way expected it. He's a nut.

(Fade to black, curtain)